Birthday Week

Last week was a weird old week...

Had a job interview, managed to stay confident and focused throughout the interview but didn't get it.

Felt quite low about that and everything else in my life, but especially my weight - why is everything such a long and tricky process?  Can't I speed it all up?!!!

Next morning I get up and weigh myself.  The scales for sometime now have said 12.1.  That morning they said 11.13.  I am finally in the 11S!!!  Yay!!!!

Last Thursday though was my birthday and I had planned since starting this diet way back in September to ensure that on my birthday I ate all the foods I wanted - especially a jacket potato - which according to the GI Diet is the epitome of GI EVIL.  Especially with butter and cheese.

I won't go into masses of detail here - sparing the dieters reading this any pain...  But I had a great day the highlight of which was going to a tea house here in Brighton - it was adorable - tea pots and chintz all around.  When I move out my shared house at the end of august I will invest in the most garish and beautiful tea set and invite people round for tea!

My boyfriend brought me for my birthday a tarot reading because I love all that stuff - I actually read the cards myself, but I do enjoy having mine read for me...  Anyway the reading itself was quite emotional in terms of dieting.  Apparently I am stuck in the past and I can't do anything positive until I let go...  Interesting really because much of my reasons for dieting are because of the past, because I gained a lot of weight when I was with someone who made me miserable and because at school my weight prevented me from having any self esteem.

Perhaps it is time to let go all of that and lose weight for more positive reasons like that I want to be healthy and when I get to my target weight I will have the mother of all shopping trips.  I think also perhaps hardest of all, I need to somehow separate my self esteem from my weight because I know the truth is that my weight doesn't have to mean that I am a failure or a bad person or that I can't be successful (despite what a lot of the news seems to suggest).

It is tricky.  Losing weight is so much more than just losing pounds...