The Curvy Goddess

Going to be brave...

I've decided to do something brave. 

I have since the start of this blog been safely tucked away behind a computer with my weightloss, I have no pictures on here to prove my weightloss you can only take my word for it.  I could infact be a robot.  Well a broken, messed up and fat robot, but I could be a robot.  So I've decided to bring the remaining weight that I need to lose out into the open.

By joining a slimming club.

It seems that every Thursday just over the road from my work the Rosemary Conely slimming club meets for weigh-in, motivational talk and then an exercise class.  And as the club endorses a low gi diet I guess I can't go wrong...

Although...

...Recently I have been hearing weight watchers weigh-in horror stories on various other blogs and crying my eyes out with laughter whilst reading the dietgirl archives about how the weight watchers lady who told her she could have peed out a 100gm.  But the way I see it is that I am not going for the weigh-in, I will be going to try and address some of my fears of exercise.

At the moment I secretly would love to join a gym or go to many exercise classes on my own.  But I just can't.  Absolutely terrified of exercising amongst normal people on my own.  I have recently started yoga, but only because my best friend and boyfriend come along too.  I am in February starting aqua aerobics, but only because I have someone else to go along with.

My reasoning about RC is that if I go to a slimming club exercise class, I shouldn't be the only larger person there and I will go on my own.  I really have to do this, because if I am to truly change my lifestyle, exercise on my own has to be part of it, I can't always have someone around to hold my hand.

So the people at the slimming club will in a couple of weeks know I am not a robot.  But you guys here may suspect that I am actually a robot after talking so much about it today.  To prove that I am actually human I will sometime very, very soon put pictures of me before and not quite midway. 

There is still a long way to 9 stone.

Weight Update

Am now on day 19 with no sugar.

It so far has been surprisingly easy.

I am quite shocked at the impact of the scones, they have seriously made it easier to turn a blind eye to chocolate.

Although on my return to England in december I came back 12 stone 6, in the following weeks my weight went up to 12 stone 10 again. 

However with no sugar and eating low gi about 95% of the time over the last 2 weeks I am now back down to 12 stone 6.  This weekend I have some serious meal planning to do, but I am hoping the effort will be worth it.  Very excited about the meal planning for Professor Bento!

12 Days with No Sugar...

...Can you believe it?  At last I seem to have mastered the sugar beast, all I needed to do was feed him fake sugar treats, in the form of scones and now the he is appeased.  I have even survived the monthly evil without succumbing to chocolate...

Did have cappuccino though today, a skinny one and realised that they actually taste better.  You see my favourite cappuccinos are those with loads of thick froth and clever boyfriend explained to me today that froth made with skimmed milk will be better because the bubbles are smaller...  Whatever, I like the skinny ones better :)

I am also now in the process of planning every meal for February, especially now the Bentos are here!  Have so far selected a range of meals from my various low gi cook books and now need to make some kind of food timetable to maximise how far my money goes.  On the point of low gi cookbooks, I just wanted to rave about this one, Low-GI Vegetarian Cookbook by Rose Elliot.  It is my favourite cookbook!  Has loads of yummy meals and most of what I will be eating in Feb is coming out of this book.  So thank you very much to Kira, my wonderful friend who bought for me (and BF) for Xmas, brilliant choice...

Gently does it...

I had this crazy notion that as soon as January started, that somehow I would as if by magic start losing weight again.  Obviously this would happen because my mind was in the right place.  But the reality was, although my head was in a good place, my mouth was not.  Yes my mouth was filled with a starbucks delicious and yummy cinnamon swirl, whilst slurping on their full fat cappuccino (no skinny here!!!).  So head good, but my sugar addiction not gone.

One major strop and much comforting from lovely boyfriend later, I and wonderful boy decided that we would start eating low gi foods and that in February once our banks accounts were replenished we would start following the "The Gi Diet Clinic" religiously.  I have now not eaten sugar for a week or had any cappuccinos or generally touched anything really bad.

And I had one of those light bulb moments upon reading the GI Diet Clinic (which is the same as original GI Diet book, but has meal plans and good guidance on tricky areas...) where Rick Gallop explains that the GI Diet does not ban any food groups.  Bollocks it doesn't ban anything, what about f**king sugar!

Truth is Rick is right, sure sugar is banned, but sweeteners are not.  Of course some sweeteners have a slightly shady reputation for causing cancer in small animals, but if you really, honestly follow the principles of the GI Diet you certainly won't be spending your days eating sweetener out of the jar and you are not a hamster.  Sweetener like everything else will be in moderation.

So anyway to my epiphany.  At the start of my diet at the end of 2006 when telling people about giving up sugar etc... lots of people told me that when they give up sugar after a while they just don't want it anymore or sweet things generally.  I have spent the last year trying to be one of those people, struggling to understand why I need sugar badly, blaming poor Mr Rick and his frigging diet and worst of all becoming a secret binger of chocolate.

I now realise that I am not one of those people.  I LOVE SWEET things.  So all you people who can give up sweet stuff and not need or want it anymore, good for you, but fuck off.

Dearest Ricky-Poos I profusely apologise for blaming you for my horrendous sugar binges and cravings, these were not your fault.  However I reserve the right to curse and bitch about you when your diet works less well...

...

Well I can see you thinking "okay she's had her epiphany, but what is she gonna do about it".

What I am gonna do?  Bake, thats what I have been doing, oh yes I have been making low gi wholemeal scones having them with the amazing st dalfour jam (in moderation of course) and would you believe it, these amazing scones have taken the edge off giving up sugar.

So I will make more scones and many other sweetener full, low gi goodies and maybe at last I might actually get somewhere closer to my goal weight...

I am so good at this regular blogging thing... Urr maybe not...

I've been bad as per usual at updating this blog regularly over the last few weeks.

Sadly I didn't make my Christmas goal of getting down to 11 stone 13 pounds, however I have managed to maintain my weight at 12 stone 6 pounds which is a small bit of relief.  I am amazed that I managed trip to Malta without any weight gain, plus all the usual Christmas and New Year parties.  I have to be honest and say that this hasn't been achieved through senisble eating, but through being ill.  Nothing like fever and staying in to cut down on those unnecessary festive calories.

Whatever Christmas now being over I can now focus on my new year plans, which I hope will be more successful...  I have signed up for the yoga class, next week I am hoping that university where I play squash will reopen and then I will also need to organise going to aqua aerobics, provided my exercise buddy is still up for that...  I just need to plan some meals and then hopefully the scales may once again show numbers getting lower and lower, because I really want to 2008 to be the year of no more dieting and the start of my new healthier life with senisble eating and exercise...

Interestingly Rick Gallop has produced a new GI Diet book with a 13 week plan which most people following the plan lost roughly two stone.  If I could lose two stone in nearly 3 months I would be thrilled!  Anyway I think I will check out the book when it appears in my local shops and see what I think, I am all for hearing tips and guidance, but not sure about meal plans as one of things I liked most of all of the original book is the freedom to choose whatever I wanted to eat!  But as I am rubbish a lot of the time at sticking to my own meal plans it could be a positive change to have that aspect taken out of my control.

Relax... Panic over...

Well its just over week since I stepped on the scales to see a horrific amount of weight gain which shocked me speedily into action.

I was much relived this morning to see the scales showing me 12 stone 6 pounds.  So thats 5 pounds off in a week, which further reassures me that my gain was just water.

As I always, I like to have a plan.

My goal is now to get back to my lowest weight of 11 stone 13 pounds by the 20th of December when I shall be flying off to Malta.  Whilst in Malta I need to understand that going away does not equate to stuff yourself like a pig.  I hope to however maintain my weight for the week I am there by feeding myself when staying in with my parents and when eating out I must make senisble choices of what I eat.  I am going to try the Rick Gallop thing of asking for no potatoes with my meals.  And I need to practice the maltese saying of 'shay grazi' which means 'nothing, thank you' - which is what I will say to my family when they offer me copious amounts of alcohol and cake.

Upon my return to England I shall continue to play squash twice a week, enrol on the yoga course I have been planning to for some time (parting with £80 for the course will hopefully inspire me to keep at it) and I will also find an aqua aerobic class.  Yes I finally have a fellow exercise buddy who no good at finding courses, but is willing to come with me to a class if I can find one.  This is a wonderful arrangement for me as I am very internet and exercise class finding savvy, but complete pants at actually going to these things without anyone.

It is as you can see a wonderful plan, like all my magical, perfect plans...

Of course there are challenges, number of one of which is coming up this weekend.

Every christmas my close friends from University and I meet up to have a Christmas dinner.  I have agreed to bake a cake for the occasion, which again, like last year I shall be baking only to not eat it.

Oh and lookie I decided to get back into dieting right before Christmas - well thats a challenge in itself!  Strangely I find the challenge of all this quite exciting, so obviously I am some kind of crazy sadastic dieter!

Well thats it for now, I shall keep you posted with my progress and problems as I get my head back into this dieting business.

Sometimes you just have to go back...

I've often ranted here since April, May time about my inability to get back into this dieting business. 

I moaned about how I feel cheated by dieting, about how cutting out sugar has perverted my relationship with the stuff.

Despite my craving to get back to the right frame of mind to diet, I just haven't been able to do it.

Tuesday I weighed myself and was shocked to see 12 stone 11 pounds.

Since then I've had no problem following the GI diet and turning down the bad stuff.  I'm relieved to already be down to 12.7, which means it is mainly water I gained - phew.

I think my obsession with soup has been a hindrance, because although it is healthy and low calorie, it is also time consuming to make.  It seems as much as I love to cook, there are also nights you don't.  So I've been eating turkey or fish with new potatoes and vegetables for the last few evenings which involves much less effort.

I've decided that when I go to Malta in a few weeks for Christmas I am going to turn down my parents lovely home made cooking and cook for myself.

And exercise - I finally have been getting some...  Played squash twice this week and playing again on Sunday, playing against friends is a good motivation.  And I've been told that if I find an exercise class of some kind, I'll have an exercise buddy to go with.

So phew it has finally all fallen into place again.  My brain that is.

...

The moral of the story is that I should have stuffed my face sooner, then the shame and weight gain would have spurred me into action faster.  Grrrr.  One word for you.

Bollocks.

Designer Plus Size Clothing Online

I've recently been sent links from 2 online shops who sell designer plus size clothing.  By designer I'm talking about Anna Scholz, Elena Miro etc... so the clothes are not cheap, but they are lush and beautiful and larger ladies too are quite with in their right spend loads on clothes, designer labels are not just the right of those skinner than us.

Anyway check out Sosienna who specialise in American Designers (and Anna Scholz!) and Beige who in addition to their online shop, have 2 shops in London, they mainly specialise in Italian, Spanish and French designers.

Thanks to you both for letting me know you are out there!

Re-Start

The cleaning freaks out there just imagine this...

A whiteish grey kitchen top covered in bread crumbs, various spices scattered around and marmite smeared across the lot for good measure.  Plus on the floor there is evidence of several slug trails, particularly around some red lentils which have been there for weeks...

Well that was a very accurate description of the kitchen I used to have to cook in.

I'll hold my hand up to being a clean freak as far as kitchens go,  I'm quite happy to have a messy bedroom , lounge and even bathroom.  But I cannot stand a grim kitchen.  My mother was an incredibly house proud woman and a cleaner.  Growing up my house was always immaculate.  Since visiting Malta I've seen that this seems to be a maltese thing (my mum is Maltese), every family member's house I have visited has always been pristine and terrfyingly clean.

Anyway sorry to have rambled on a bit there but my point is cooking in that original kitchen decribed above has just been a nightmare to me.  Obviously I couldn't cook in it and I always had to clean it before I could cook in it...  Well faced with that there was many a time I thought fuck that and got a take away instead.

At the start of my diet I could get away with such behaviour, having a lot to lose, but as stones have dropped off, loosing weight has become harder and take aways plus other bits of food cheating have prevented me from loosing weight.

I still have such a long way to go and over the last couple of months I have gained a few pounds back. 

I am now ready to re-start this dieting malarkey and now I am free of the shitty kitchen.  So good bye slugs, psycho bitch house mates, marmite smears and hello no excuses.

Re-start weight 12 stone five pounds.

Sorry!!!

Hiya

Apologies for the lack posting lately,  I have moved and have been without the internet at home for nearly three weeks now...  However thanks to wonderful geek boyfriend, the internet is back!  Life without the internet is sooo empty...  I stupidly have filled the internet void with frantic packing, late night cleaning and eating the most unbelievable shit.  Sure I've had no kitchen and few items to cook with at times during the last three weeks, but what was there to stop me eating microwaved low calorie meals or tins of soup?  Nothing.  Instead I choose to do pie and chips, KFC and other amounts of copious fatty bad, bad food.

Annoying thing was a couple of weeks before my move started I had managed to lose two pounds through focused healthy eating.  Those 2 pounds are now back on plus 1 more.

GRRR, GRR and more GRRRRRRR!!!

Anyway I've said fuck it, the KFC was great but time to move on.  Soup and fruit here I come.

AND!!! And!!!  Today is officially day 3 of me being vegetarian :) I've decided to go veggie for the month in an attempt to make me find new healthy recipes and as a meat detox before my next trip to Malta in October, where I will be fed huge amounts of meaty goodness...