The Curvy Goddess

Wanton Pie Eating

At the moment I am struggling big time to diet.  I am doing quite well at maintaining my weight, despite eating some bad foods - I have sense enough not to eat more calories than I can burn off.

I am fed up of low gi foods - well the stuff I know how to make anyway.  I probably need to inject some inspiration and new receipes to my diet.  I would love to hurl sweetner, lentils and chickpeas at Rick Gallop.  I am just so sick of all food.  Even the foods I am currently 'cheating' with have lost their sparkle…  I just want to eat all the foods I shouldn't.  On Saturday I ate pie, chips and gravy - it was wonderful.  I want cream cakes and jacket potatoes.  I know that eating all of those sorts of foods will zap my energy and send me into a little summer slump.

But I am so f**king fed up.

I don't want to cook.  I don't want to expel any effort - I've been doing this since last september, do I have to keep at it forever?

Equally so I just want to be at my target weight now, with no effort and preferably with a grand to blow on clothes.

I still have 41 pounds to go and getting rid of them seems more difficult than some kind of mythological quest.  But I am not after the holy grail, just to get to nine stone.

I am no where near to my two month weightloss target.

Something has to change, but I am not sure what or how or why…

Grrr, Grrr and more Grrr.

Alternative Plus Size Clothing

Lately I have often bitched and moaned here about how much I hate some of the current fashion trends.  To be honest, I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a tunic, smock top or a maxi dress (despite my recent write up on them) because the truth is I am an alternative girl at heart.

Today in another list-a-rama frenzy on ebay, I noticed that most of the clothes I was selling were black.  Most of the jeans going were flared or baggy/wide-legged.  I am currently thinking about planning a end of diet shopping trip to the USA, mainly so I can go shopping in Hot Topic.

As 'alternative' can mean a multitude of styles, I guess the kind of 'alterntative' clothes that I like are the more girly ones, black gypsy wench style tops and dresses appeal to me, retro style clothing with a sexy fit and cutesy gothic lolita skirts.  All of which tend to flatter my curvy figure and huge boobs.  Of course of a lot of the figure flattering depends though if you can get clothes you want in your size!

My first and foremost tip in finding a good variety of alternative plus size clothing is always, always check ebay first!  The place is awash with the stuff, there are loads of small independent sellers who make stunning clothing and of course there are people like me selling on my now too big clothes.  And until plus size clothing improves here in the UK, ebay is an excellent place to make some money.  Once I bought some Hot Topic baggies from Ebay in the US for £25 (which included the postage costs), only to discover that they were ridicolously too long for me.  So I decided to sell them on ebay.  I sold them for £70 - yes £70. 

My second piece of advice is, bulk buy.  In the oh-so fickle world of fashion, I am sure you have noticed that a lot of styles and fabrics tend to repeat themselves and occasionally alternative styles become mainstream and popular.  So for the brief time that fashion seems to be producing clothes that you like for change, stock up on them.  The clothes will be cheap and they will be worth hoarding in your wardrobe for times like now, when you want the stupid bastards who brought smock tops into fashion put in the stocks for crimes against curvy women.

Finally those of you in the UK, when you do want to spend some money, check out the list of shops mentioned below...

Alienskin - I discovered Alienskin shortly I after I set up this blog and I want to buy all of their clothes!  Most of the stuff they sell is also available in plus sizes (except the bares range) and they also have a few bits modelled by plus size models!  They have recently revamped their site and it is very user friendly.  And, and!!!!  They have a size chart for every item of clothing which is very helpful! 

So if you have ever wanted to dress up like a fairy princess grab one of their Hazey Hazel Mini Skirts and a leafy layer top, then run off to the woods to find your Oberon...

Getting back to all important me ;-) I'm going to buy this skirt, either really soon or once I hit the all imortant next size down...

Also very worthy of a mention are Drac-in-a-Box, who until the weekend I did not realise had a plus size section in their shop (and it is quite an extensive collection!), but they do!  Although a bit on the pricey side, their clothes are absoutely stunning  - they have loads of velvet, corsets and PVC stuff.  My particular favourites are...

...Their "She looked good in ribbons" top...  I want one in black!  Although not for me this PVC dress looks amazing and I am almost tempted to go the opera if I can get this coat...

Another wonderful online discovery I have found is Moonmaiden, who produce all the velvet & lace clothes you could ever want...  However they do occasionally branch out a bit into fishnet, pvc and good old fashioned cotton.  Every thing is hand made, they frequently update their styles and the majority of what they sell is offered in plus sizes.  But one of the most amazing things about Moonmaiden is that you have loads of choice in the colours and trimmings, so whatever you buy - it will be unique!  And even though everything is hand made, personally I feel that everything they sell is very reasonably priced.  Once at my target weight I am gonna have a little Moonmaiden shoping spree!  Here are my favourites from their lovely site (so user friendly!)...

Their Fairy Net Mini is adorable and would go well with their sexy Vampire Siren Top...  And one of their newer designs is this - their Shadow Maiden Top absoutely gorgeous!  I want one now!

Well above are all of my favourites but please also check out the links below...  And just one little thing I haven't forgotten about corsets!  I will be doing a little ditty on corsets soon enough - I just felt they deserved their own blog entry.

Anyway here is the list of other places well worth checking out for alternative plus size clothing, some are in the US so watch out for import charges!

BeaBea - lots of stuff here - have some beautiful gothy tops.

Crimson Empress - in the US, friendly & helpful & of course all the velvet & pvc you could wish for...

Dare - a cornish based shop - online of course too.

Fashionoverdose - where Beth Ditto really should buy her clothes from.  Funky colourful alternative clothes.

Get Cutie - Brighton based alternative/vintage clothing - does bespoke clothing!

Goodgoth - US based has a big range!

Gothic Haven - make plus size corsets and check out the Pimp Alternative Clothing section of their site.

Hot Topic - Loads of stuff!   Check out Torrid too as they often have Tripp clothing there too.

Inkubus - Has some very unusual clothing!

Lillijean - US company selling adorable retro vintage style dresses and skirts...

Pin Up Girl Clothing - another US company that sells sexy retro clothing.

 

NME - Beth Ditto in Mustard Leggings???? What the Hell Were They Thinking?????

My house mate called me the other day to ask if I wanted his copy of NME which featured Beth Ditto naked...  I'm not really sure what to make of the whole media love of Ms Ditto, but I thought I would have the NME to see what she has to say anyway...

I read the her interview today (thank you James) and to be honest the thing that has stood out from all other things is the photo with her clothes back on...  Some sick and twisted individual dressed her in MUSTARD LEGGINGS?  WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING?  Mustard yellow is revolting colour anyway, actually it could be some kind of mustardy green, whatever the leggings look fucking vile.  An even more terrifying thought is that Beth Ditto may have actually chosen that outfit for herself and there is a mention in the interview that she would like to design plus size clothes for the larger woman.  Please god don't let her near sketchpad or we could see more women walking around in vomit green coloured leggings.

Of course I am all for every sized woman having access to fashionable and flattering clothes.  The problem with leggings is that they make a large woman look like a chicken, all big up top and thin at the bottom.  And the problem with fashion at the moment, is that a lot of the trends just don't look good on larger women, so therefore fashion designers should be whipped and beaten for creating such a shit season's worth of clothes.

I do appreciate that perhaps Ms Ditto may actually want to look like a chicken and thereby drawing attention to her size, but it looks so ugly.  I would much rather she drew attention to her size by emphasising her good bits (not her just her face as mentioned in the interview) and wearing some decent clothes.  Maybe ironically either Beth or the stylist couldn't find any young hip clothes for her, welcome to our world - it fucking sucks doesn't it???!!!!

Rant over with. 

...Very soon (so close to be finished) I shall be posting here the best places to get alternative plus size clothing here in the UK and there won't be any leggings, tunics or maxi dresses but there will be plenty of velvet, lace, corsets and PVC...

Something Has Clicked...

Yesterday something odd happened. 

As per usual at the weekend and at the start of this week I was bad, eating sugary foods again and needing them quite badly.

But Wednesday I literally woke up feeling "I can't eat sugar today", I won't do it.  And I didn't, yesterday was my first full sugar free day in ages.  And today I have survived too.

I can't quite explain it, but I have essentially decided that one I am not addicted to sugar and secondly that I must not eat it or I will quite simply continue to not lose weight.  That might sound a little over the top, but I am at point where if I do not watch the calories along with following the GI diet, the weight will not go.

However I am glad to be feeling this way - I really hope it lasts because I am still so far away from my goal weight and I really want and need to get on my way to it. 

I keep thinking, if I was to be utterly ruthless and up my exercise too, I could be there in five months.

That doesn't seem so bad...

Back to the Diet

Despite the empty Mars Delight wrapper on my desk, this week has been a good week for dieting.  As per normal I have found dieting during the week at work easier and the weekend has seen some bad food choices.

It seems that my structured working week forces me to plan my meals and at the weekend I let that all go.  Plus the weekend seems to include at least one pub lunch/dinner, at which I find it difficult to choose something healthy, because even the healthy options ain't low gi anyway...

Bad Rachel!

Anyway bad behaviour aside I have lost 1.5 pounds this week - only half pound back to 11.13.  Have decided to set myself a mini goal of getting to 11.5 over the next two months so that when I go back to my doctor I will be three stone lighter than my starting weight.  That means losing 8 pounds in that time - which I think is more than managable in the time I have set myself.  And!!!  My boyfriend should be handing in a completed draft of his phd thesis this week (please god let it be over with after 7 years!!!) which means I may have a squash buddy again, which will hopefully make the weightloss a bit easier.

This coming week though shalt eat low gi at all times even at the weekend...

It Pays to Bitch...

Well just check out Evans...

The summer range looks great!  It seems that they have finally caught on that in previous seasons their clothes have been BORING!!!  And kicked themselves mightly up the arse to produce a bloody gorgeous summer set of clothes!  And the Seven range seems to be back for good!!!  I am in no way saying that I like or would wear any current season clothing, nope, I still hate smock tops, leggings and the hideous, hideous vomit tunics.  But I can appreciate that Evans have produced some fashionable and flattering clothes.  In addition they have also vastly improved their website over the last few months.  They are looking shit hot right now, might even have a bit of an edge on Simply Be pricewise (only a smidge though!).

Just check it out, I would provide some links - but they actually have loads of great stuff, you should really see it all, but my personal favourite is this...  What a beautiful dress...

I am so pleasantly surprised I am gonna write to them and let them know!

Post Holiday Reflections & Back to the F**king Diet

Urgh...

I am not sure that going away on holiday was such a great idea for me.

I have come back to delightful grey british weather, which is all the more 

depressing after a week of very, very sunny Malta.  All I want to

do is hide under my duvet, watch Greys Anatomy/Lost/Heroes/24/Ugly Betty

and eat.

Work is busy, friends are sad and I have to diet!  I really, really

don't want to diet after eating all I wanted on holiday, plus wine,

which until my holiday I had not wanted to drink...  And I have hit a

first.  I have gained 2 pounds from my holiday blow out, which is the

first time I have gained any weight since starting my diet since

September.

A stone back that would have devastated me, but to be honest now I don't

care.  I loved every minute of eating tasty food in Malta.  I am

starting to understand why now dieting seems to be nemesis of permanent

weightloss, my eating habits pre-diet were much better than how I feel

now - I just want to eat crap pure and simple.  I am sure that hardened

dieters would know this, but myself diet virgin until last September,

this really surprises me, I always expected that a good diet would make

me a more virtous eater.

Anyway, some how, despite all of this I now have to find a way back to

eating healthly and back on to the GI diet, as per usual hardest of all,

giving up sugar is proving to be tough, driving me slighlty more insane

than usual.

So far I have taken the step of eating loads of satsumas and clearing my

wardrobe.

The wardrobe sorting I am actually quite proud of, I have successfully

managed to throw away some more favourite worn out jeans and possibly

got rid of all of my old sized clothes.  Yesterday a couple of carrier

bags fully of old clothes went to charity, another couple wait to go.  I

have a big bunch of stuff to sell on ebay, I'm gonna try to list at

least 10 items a week.  So in a few weeks time, my wardrobe should be

much more empty...

Anyway the theory behind the wardrobe clearing is that I will only have

clothes that fit me or are a bit too tight, I'm hoping that will keep me motivated to diet...

Fashion Common Sense

Lately I have stated here quite how much I utterly depise this seasons fashion trends (which has even been picked up on by other blogs), indeed it seems life has played a cruel trick on me...  I lose weight for my health and more importantly new clothes, only to discover that I fucking hate the clothes in the fucking shops right now!!!!!  Flower prints, leggings, tunic tops and fucking smock tops are fucking every where and I fucking hate them.  Burn them all. 

This could of course be life also trying to prevent me from buying clothes now because when I reach my all important weightloss target, the clothes will available will be perfect...  I say "life don't bother, haven't you heard of ebay?".

So this morning whilst leisurely reading the guardian online here in sunny Malta (I AM HOlIDAY -YAY) I was thrilled to read this little piece about uber mini skirts and how no one is buying them.  Yes it seems that the public have rejected the current fashion trend of tiny teeny mini skirts and instead are buying en-masse - the MAXI DRESS...

So to celebrate this wonderful rejection of the mini-skirt I hereby present below the best maxi dresses I have found in plus sizes...

Simply Be - as per usual SB has gorgeous clothes and they actually have two lovely maxi dresses for you to choose from!  This one is available in a pink print or black and the second one is in a vibrant orange print.

Sadly Evans only has one maxi dress at the moment, but there is a broken link on their home page called 'dresses' so I suspect there maybe more to come - the pictured dress on the link looks gorgeous - come on Evans - get your shit together!

La Redoute En Plus has this pretty dress - I am not sure that you could call it a maxi dress as it looks a little short, however if you are a very petite lady like me it will probably fall to below your ankles anyway.

American plus size clothing is always, always far superior to what is in England so if you are prepared to pay a bit more in postage and possibly import charges, check out Alight and more importantly their Blue Plate and Mile Gabrielle ranges to see Maxi Dress plus size heaven.  Me personally I would go for the Candy Land dress from Blue Plate and the Pisces Dress from Mile Gabrielle.

For now I am going to try not to buy anymore clothes unless they are absoutely essential, as much as I am excited by my new size-16-dom, I now have the basics - I DO NOT NEED ANYMORE CLOTHES - REALLY RACHEL YOU DO NOT.  Roll on the diet and the next season of clothes...

Superskinny Me

Despite my lack of weight loss lately, I've been feeling masses better about myself.

I have found a few pairs of size 16 jeans that fit me well.

I have discovered that knee length a-line skirts are very flattering on me, I feel all slim and girly in them :-)

I live in Brighton which is full of unusual, gothy and bohemian shops.  Most of the clothes in these shops have been out of my reach for a long time.  I can now fit into some of these clothes and made my inner goth very happy through buying this skirt with my birthday money.

And then I watched Superskinny Me: The Race to Size Double Zero and ploop I feel shite...

One of the girls in this managed to only lose a stone and dropped six dress sizes!!!  Of course she felt crap for doing it and regained half a stone of the weight quickly, but still I want to lose six dress sizes!

That all aside it was both disturbing and intriguing stuff.  I can't believe the diets the girls did (lemonade diet, watercress diet...), the exercise and colonic irrigation!!!  Plus the toll on them emotionally was quite bad - particularly for one of the journalists in this 'experiment' - she had to stop because she was on the verge of developing an eating disorder.

If celebrities really do these sorts of diets they must be fucking insane.

What really got to me though was that many of the things said in this programme, I could very much relate to.  Mainly thinking about food all the time and the major guilt and disgust I feel when I eat bad foods.

Truth is, I hate dieting.  But more than anything I want to be nine stone and healthy.  Quite simply I cannot wait for it to be over with.

Birthday Week

Last week was a weird old week...

Had a job interview, managed to stay confident and focused throughout the interview but didn't get it.

Felt quite low about that and everything else in my life, but especially my weight - why is everything such a long and tricky process?  Can't I speed it all up?!!!

Next morning I get up and weigh myself.  The scales for sometime now have said 12.1.  That morning they said 11.13.  I am finally in the 11S!!!  Yay!!!!

Last Thursday though was my birthday and I had planned since starting this diet way back in September to ensure that on my birthday I ate all the foods I wanted - especially a jacket potato - which according to the GI Diet is the epitome of GI EVIL.  Especially with butter and cheese.

I won't go into masses of detail here - sparing the dieters reading this any pain...  But I had a great day the highlight of which was going to a tea house here in Brighton - it was adorable - tea pots and chintz all around.  When I move out my shared house at the end of august I will invest in the most garish and beautiful tea set and invite people round for tea!

My boyfriend brought me for my birthday a tarot reading because I love all that stuff - I actually read the cards myself, but I do enjoy having mine read for me...  Anyway the reading itself was quite emotional in terms of dieting.  Apparently I am stuck in the past and I can't do anything positive until I let go...  Interesting really because much of my reasons for dieting are because of the past, because I gained a lot of weight when I was with someone who made me miserable and because at school my weight prevented me from having any self esteem.

Perhaps it is time to let go all of that and lose weight for more positive reasons like that I want to be healthy and when I get to my target weight I will have the mother of all shopping trips.  I think also perhaps hardest of all, I need to somehow separate my self esteem from my weight because I know the truth is that my weight doesn't have to mean that I am a failure or a bad person or that I can't be successful (despite what a lot of the news seems to suggest).

It is tricky.  Losing weight is so much more than just losing pounds...